Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Swank Advice-In Love with a Beautiful Woman


a letter to the Cocktail Nation this week from Andy in Capetown who writes...dear Koop.


I have been seeing this gorgeous girl on and off for about six months now. We are having a long distance relationship and she also happens to be a burlesque performer. I recently travelled to a show with her but was really put off by the amout of men learing at her. I have tried to keep my jealous feelings from showing but it's really tough. When we do meet up it's often when she is performing and it's really hard to make a connection. what should I do.

Well as Doctor Hook says "when you're in love with a beautiful woman you go it alone". Every time I hear that song I remember this Scandinavian model I dated. She was probably the most attractive woman I had ever been with at that time. Men would walk into lamp posts on the street looking at her.

Once we were in DC and she wore these really tight hot pants out shopping while I went to work. I watched her go from my hotel window and straight away some guy follows her. I always felt that everyman was after her. It was painful. Nowadays I have a far more cavalier attitude to women so my care factor is very low.

Thing I have learnt is that women won't respect you if you pine for them and if you feel threatened then you might project that, so be careful.

Regarding your connection, that is going to be really difficult when she probably has team mates she is performing with and maybe fans to meet. Tough one to try and cut through all the activity just to get five minutes.

Personally I wouldnt have gone because you run the risk of being a cheer squad. Ok, that said, you need to organize something super romantic, you need to steal her away for a couple of hours and win her over with a grand gesture. Perhaps a walk in a park or on the beach. Then as you walk and talk bring up the future and talk about how you wish you could spend more time together and where you see the relationship going.

Basically plan the future a bit.Set dates for the future, like the next trip to her city and try and spell out a future for you both, leave her with no illusions as to what your intentions are.

Hope that helps baby! K